I told my friends what I thought about all this, and they agreed with me that 2010 hasn't been a good year so far. I do hope it'll get better though. I mean, come on, I'm graduating in a few months, and I will most likely start going to college this fall. I'm turning 18 this year, too. It'll be too sad if things can't get better.
How can things get better, though? It just seems like everyone is in such bad moods because of various reasons. And from what I've noticed, when one is in a bad mood, they tend to be more self-centered, and can be selfish. They hurt others in a way, and they just don't realize that. When they finally have come to realize what they have done wrong, it's all too late. When they want to start making things better, things have changed and so much of what shouldn't be said has been said and done. When they feel the need to apologize, apologies don't matter anymore. When they try to change, they have become too selfish to try to change whole-heartedly.
I know that people change no matter what as time passes. Two people can grow apart sometimes, even though they are so close with each other. But what I don't understand is that, how can one stop caring? Doesn't that mean they don't need us anymore? Doesn't that mean they have become so confident that they think they're always right and no matter what they do we can always forgive them because we love them?
Well, patience has limitations. So does one's sanity. I can't stay quiet about one thing that bothers me 99% of the time. I can't just accept the fact that there are things that need to be fixed in this relationship, but are apparently left alone, because he doesn't think it's that big of a deal. I also can't always wait for him while he doesn't even care what in the earth is happening in my life. I can't always accept excuses, especially when they don't make sense. "I forgot to call you," he said. You said you would; I asked you specifically to call me and write it down somewhere in case you forget it, because I know that you are forgetful and i care about our relationship. "I just don't see what's wrong with that. If I asked my friends right now, they would say I didn't do anything wrong." DUH. They're YOUR friends. If I asked my friends, they would agree with me too. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time trying to make you understand how I feel. Then when I think I have finally made you understand, you show me you don't. What the poopie do you want me to do?
Blah. Now I'm just complaining and ranting.
I just hope 2010 won't get worse. I hope a certain someone would grow up and realize that I care about them and I'm doing all this for them. I hope they would notice my effort to make this work. I hope they would understand why I have been fighting for this relationship and I hope it's actually worth fighting for.
Gosh, a year has never had a bad beginning. At least, this is the first time in my life that a year starts out kinda bad. I wonder if I did something reaaaaaaaally wrong that caused this to happen.. -sigh-
Labels: 2010, bf, disastrous, hope, random, rant, relationships, stuff
